We overslept, a rarity in this household. Mums don’t  need alarm clocks you see. At 6:45 each morning we are awoken by the children, either the eldest asking about whats for dinner next week or the youngest cooing accusingly into the baby monitor. For 10 seconds this morning we congratulate the children on letting us sleep in, then the realisation kicks in: its 7:18 and we are quite possibly going to be late.

I have plans for today: I was going to try for the yummy mummy status, get up at 6 have a shower, do make-up, lay each childrens clothes out ready, maybe make the pack lunches¦. Find some co-coordinating jewellery, locate my chic scarf. I may bake some cupcakes when the youngest has his morning nap later, I could unload and load the dish washer while they cook¦sort out the washing that Ive refreshed twice in the machine. Maybe Ill start a blog on craft projects¦. We have recently moved house you see, Im quite into the idea of blogging my interior design ideas. I have written a list!

Despite sleeping in, the baby is tired¦. Maybe hes having a growth spurt? We are nearly out of bread. It’s  ok mummy, I like the end crust (thank goodness). I feed the baby porridge and throw a cup of coffee down my neck¦. And dressing gown¦. (see thats why its good not to get dressed until the last min).

We all troop upstairs, I have no clean clothes, I really should sort out the wash¦. Maternity wear it is then¦.. the coordinating jewellery is in a box somewhere so ll go for the naturel look today nothing worse than turning up for the school run looking like youre going out for the night.

The husband leaves to catch his train; he breaks into a jog as he passes the garage..

Throw together a packed lunch and I sort out some money for a school trip. The baby cries, he doesnt want to get dressed this morning, He doesnt want a banana, he doesnt want his sister to play peek-a-boo with him, he doesnt need his nappy chan… oh wait, yes he does.

We”re late, we had better drive to school (actually no quicker, but these maternity trousers are a bit big for me now, would hate to expose hideous m&S underwear while pushing pram down the road). Made it to school, just in time. forgot lunch box!! As baby sleeps for 2 hours at 9:30, we will have to break into school trip money.. Harriet likes school lunch better anyway.

HOME!!!! Ooooo postmans been

Baby doesnt sleep at 9:30, baby fills nappy (again). I empty all my pockets placing remaining trip money with the post and lay down to feed him.. 10 mins later I awake with him fast asleep and still attached. We begin the cot lowering mission.

Slowly_creep_into_babys_room_gently_lower_him_into_cot_back_away and trip on a oh so stylish vintage crate BABY AWAKE

I abandon my baking plans and spend the next hour trying to get him to nod off again. He keeps smiling, we give up, I empty, reload the put the dishwasher on with him in my arms.

Side note: how do other mums get anything done with a baby? This is the extent of the housework while he is awake.. a bit of dirt is good for building up his immune system anyway, dont want him to be one of those sickly children who sees a speck of dirt and comes down with stomach flu.. Incidentally, if you were a child like this please put me in touch with your mother so I can ask her how she managed to keep such a spotless home maybe you had your nap at 9:30?

We have no bread, I have to boil up some pasta and stream some veg for little mans lunch. Dish washer is full of clean stuff, I leave saucepans on the side, fill one with water to soak Im good at doing that, did you know, some need to soak for 24 hours atleast??

Moving house equals lots of phone calls; I aimlessly open the post while on hold. Baby seems happy, hes playing with some paper… OMG its the trip money, Hess eaten Harriet’s £10 note…

So there we have it

Hours spend napping (baby) 0

Cupcakes made 0

Phone calls completed 0

Loss:£10

Gain: 2 dirty nappies

Washes done 0

Dishes on the side in the morning 9

Dishes on the side in the afternoon 9 (but different ones)

School trips paid for 0