I don’t  care how so-and-so pop factor lost their baby weight, I don’t like that your baby is 7 seconds old and you’re already back into size 8 woo boo! Nope, My baby is nine months im still in my maternity get up. I’ve  not been back in my size 8  since I was 8

Wanna feel better about those extra lbs?

Here are 10 ˜Slummy Mummy’ non-diet tips

Bake (or buy) some muffins of your own and feed them to the other half: Growing together is very important in relationships

Feed them also to your friends Do you see where Im going with this one??

Wear bright Florals (that way everyone will remember you as the lady in the silly dress)

Wear black (no one will comment on your weight, youre clearly grieving)

Tell everyone youre a slimming world champion. You used to be 45 stone

Google pictures of women who ARE 45 stone (dont you feel better now)

Draw funny faces on your belly to entertain the kids.. it’s the jelly monster!!!

Throw out the full length mirror: Youll look so much smaller in a compact from 10 metres away

Wear a step-o-metre: those bad boys pick up every gesture One round of  if youre happy and you know it and youll have run a marathon

Put a picture of you in labour on the fridge: that way every time you reach for a snack you can think I bloody well deserve this