Me Time

This evening something very strange happened, I found myself downstairs, after work and alone!!!

The living room was tidy (well there were neatish piles of stuff in various corners) all three children were asleep and the husband, having been off work with man flu all day, was tucked up in bed. Bless him (we’d had the it’s not flu you managed to eat your dinner and spend twenty mins looking for your glasses, argument earlier in the day)

It was 10pm and an erie hush had fallen over the house, the only sound I could hear was the beeping of the dishwasher signifying the end of its cycle, and I was trying my upmost to block that out. Being alone like this is unheard of for me! Sure, I get child free time when I swap over to my work hat, but it just doesn’t count. I say hat, actually today I had put my hair up with a pen while at the computer, it was the only thing within reach which wouldn’t require me to sneak out of the room…. Believe me, when the office door opens, the children descend, it’s best to remain at the screen… This pen had now leaked and so, the first thirteen mins of my newly acquired me time were spent washing my hands, then scrubbing the sofa, where I had discarded said pen,

Who needs a spa day eh?

But what next?! I considered a cupa, because that seems the obligatory thing to do right? Maybe I could actually stand there and wait for the kettle to boil?… Shit no, we ran out of milk and I didn’t get anymore because there’s a major traffic detour near the local shop and I’d already had several screaming child/why the hell is this light still red, moments today…..

Dishwasher was beeping again

So next I turned on the TV….. Because I’m always saying how I dont get to just browse the channels anymore….. There is some history documentary paused on the screen…. Clearly Mr man flu found his glasses, and the remote, and managed a spot of ‘him time’ despite dying earlier!!

As it turned out. There is nothing on TV at 10pm, or rather if you don’t actually watch TV, you don’t even know what half the programmes are anymore…. Celebrity big brother live eviction… Gosh! Is that still going?

Ah ha! Planner, I figured there had to be something recorded for me…. Or not, flicking through I was rather resentful to see several documentaries with VIEWED next to them….. A couple of films left over from Christmas and no doctor who!!!! I remember now. I deleted two series worth a few months back, to make room for peppa pig. Bing and horrible histories…. Even the sky planner doesn’t recognise ‘me time’.

Of course I’m too refined for TV… Ah hem… I wondered (briefly) how far into big brother the series was?! But No! I decided to try a book!!

Despite my social media profiles and my cv professing a love of reading I’m so ashamed that I’ve not read a novel in over a year (ahem 2 years)!! I have however, continued to collect them, some classics (because the leather covers looks cute), a truck load of Jodi Picout and the Hunger Games…. I really should read more! but who knows when I’ll get to finish it? … I wondered, where are my glasses??? I trooped upstairs and quietly felt around the bedroom daring not to wake anyone up. They are next to my husband’s (glasses that is, not plural husbands, I only have the one) on the bedside table, he must have found them in the search for his own, which also means he went into my office, because I was pretty sure in fact that is where I had them last.

Oh dear god! No, it’s a crazy mess In there, I’m so ashamed, I keep the door closed for a reason,

Sure enough I discovered that he’s been in there, looking for something…. Oh his research books… He had to move the step ladder, and climb the mountain of laundry but, somehow, in his ‘flu’ he found the text book and I bet he bloody had time to read it too?

Crash! There goes the ladder, there goes the baby… Mum mum mum…. There goes the me time!!

So here I am, sat in bed, with the baby on one side and the (one) drooling husband on the other…. On the bright side, I have work tomorrow morning….. That’ll do for me time… I’ll just try and remember to take a hair band in this time!

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