I love the second trimester! After the somewhat ‘extended symptoms’ of the first, I can honestly say the last month has been lovely! My mood has settled, baby is moving, and the birds are singing in the trees….. ok maybe that’s over poetic, but the Easter holidays couldn’t have come at a better time.

While I’m still being sick (yep still) I’ve really felt able to enjoy some family time while everyone has been off for the holidays. As always, routine goes a little crazy with Scott also on Easter break, but knowing this is the last extended leave as a family before little one arrives (bar half term), means we have crammed more into the two weeks than we would normally.

I know it can’t last much longer though and, with less than a month until the third trimester, I did find myself getting a little more tired than normal in the evenings over this last weekend. Uh oh!!!

I’m fairly gutted to discover none of my shoes fit anymore. I’ve made the transition to flip flops earlier than expected, but at least it’s not the middle of winter like my Roo pregnancy. I know it’s important to keep an eye on pregnancy swelling, especially as I was induced for high blood pressure with Nerg, but I’m also a little nervous that my consultant will err on the side of caution and over medicalise my pregnancy and birth.

I’ve not been under consultant care before and perhaps he will be lovely and supportive, but I feel almost defensive of my body: having carried three children previously without this much monitoring it feels like I’m failing somehow, which is silly. They just want to make sure I don’t get the markers of preeclampsia again. It is a bit baffling to everyone why I got them in my third pregnancy rather than the two previous, especially as I was more at risk when I was pregnant with H (being a teen mum). But fingers crossed it won’t happen this time around. My induction wasn’t a great birth experience, and I don’t ever again want to feel as poorly as I did in the final weeks of my last pregnancy.

I see my consultant in a month for a chat and an extra scan (we have two extra this pregnancy) and hopefully I’ll be able to be assertive with my concerns and plans. Providing there are no signs of preeclampsia and baby is growing well I have no desire to be scared into a hospital delivery. I know my body well after four pregnancies and will 100% seek help if I’m concerned, but I do not want to end up on the delivery conveyor belt that is induction, if it can be helped.

We have for this reason decided to go for a homebirth again, third try lucky…. and so the next couple of months I’ll be looking into pool hire and starting to think about supplies, mainly writing lists I expect. Supplies that will no doubt be abandoned if I have another quick labour.

So far the only lists I’ve written are baby name lists…. for some reason this time we are at stalemate neither of us 100% bowled over with the others’ suggestions. We also have to be somewhat careful when discussing names as I’m still adamant I don’t want to find out the flavour of little one and I don’t think Scott would forgive himself if he gave it away (although he is now v v good at the old bluffing, double bluffing).

Having most of our baby stuff already has made me somewhat complacent about preparation, I really feel as though I should be doing something to get ready for our arrival. The problem is that with the first two I had everything done, dusted, washed and rewashed by about 30 weeks and remember wishing I had more to do at the end.

….everyone knows the final month of pregnancy lasts ten years so I’m saving up the jobs….

I have however picked up the odd pack of newborn nappies when shopping…..and I did linger for a good ten mins in the supermarket baby clothing section the other day. Just looking at the little white romper suits.

There’s been a couple of moments this Easter where Scott and I have looked at each other and wondered what the hell are we letting ourselves into. Surprisingly it’s not when our current brood are having a challenging moment, it’s when they’ve been settled. When we see them playing together happily, without needing intervention, we can’t help but wonder how having another might upset this dynamic…. we can sit back slightly while they play at the park, or enjoy a cupa and a chat…. life is less demanding. Nergs been sleeping through now for about three or four months…. bliss! It’s been getting easier and that, we know, is all about to change! But what I keep reminding myself is, there were less than two years between the boys. It was full-on for everyone but this is one baby, nearly three years later…. Roo is starting school and Nerg is in pre-school. Harriet will be joining Secondary in September…. so it won’t be the same this time… There’s a little more breathing room…. famous last words eh?

Oh baby is now the size of an ear of corn (apparently)